He Was My Dad

Brad wasn’t a good dad. Between losing his sister, his abusive father, and the world ending, he had a very tough life. Finding his would-be daughter Buddy, Brad tried to be something of a parental figure to her in a decaying world while battling his flaws.

After his death in Lisa: The Painful, Buddy is left to survive on her own. She’s angry, distrusting, vengeful. Her complex relationship with Brad heightens her worst tendencies while tormenting her. She carries immense pain inside her heart. She curses Brad with one breath and repeats his behavior the next.

My dad was far from perfect. Between losing his father, his abusive family, and his aspirations crumbling, he had a very tough life. He tried to be as good a parent as he could. Trying and failing to hide his addictions, calling me for my birthday every year, and taking an interest in my hobbies, he tried his best. When he finally passed this year, I felt an immense pain that was vague before — a mix of intense anger, scorn, and tears with no real way out.

Buddy and I got to figure out more about our dads after they died. We learned about their failures and shortcomings. The secrets they hid and the pain they carried while smiling at us. How damaged they were on the inside, and how seeing us made them want to try just a little harder each day. Even if it was impossible for them to be a “good” dad, they still tried.

Through all the faults, all the pain they caused, and every time they came up short: they tried. I held so much anger for over 10 years, but now I miss him. Even after all the heartache and hurtful memories, I miss my dad.

He was my dad.