A New Way to Think of Video Games and Parenting

Newer generations of parents grew up with more exposure to video games. While this exposure has led me and others to generally accept and understand the medium more than older generations, many friends still ask for advice on handling their kids’ interest in games.

I always explain that they offer an alternate mode of storytelling, one with interactivity put front and center, fostering creativity and problem-solving skills in the process. However, whatever rules and expectations the family has around television, books, or sports should also apply to games.

For my five-year-old daughter, for example, video games have always been an option for leisure and entertainment, and they follow the same rules as other media. In our home, television is for winding down. So are video games. We often cuddle up to watch an episode of Bluey and play a level of Plants vs. Zombies before her nap. As a basketball player, my husband understands the value of competition and teamwork. So whenever my daughter and I get invitations to a raid on Pokémon Go, he cheers us on. Just like we have a rule of no more than three books before bed, we use an app to set limits on the old phone we’ve set up with age-appropriate games. Every now and then — like during sickness, bad weather, or when my husband and I are busy with important chores — we have what my daughter calls “a lazy day,” where we cancel her timer and allow her to play video games and/or watch TV as much as she wants. Sometimes she even helps me tend my farm on Stardew Valley, take care of my second home at The Sims, or gather resources to prepare for Winter in Don’t Starve.

Video games should be encouraged, but always with balance in mind. As with other media that our kids are exposed to, it’s important to be present and aware. I love seeing my daughter enjoy games — both with me and, as is happening more and more as she grows up, by herself. And it’s doubly satisfying to know that she is learning about self-control while having fun.