The best spam emails we got after the ESA leak

If you’re a fellow person in the video game industry, there’s a high chance that you heard about the leak that followed this year’s E3, exposing thousands of media and industry attendees. Personal information such as addresses, phone numbers, full names, and emails were out in the open, and sadly, no real measure has been taken as of yet to prevent this from happening again. While the scenario is, at best, uncertain for next year, I thought of sharing the impact this had on my inbox ever since.

Here’s the gist: If you were lucky enough to apply for a media pass on behalf of a publication, there’s a chance that the only personal information that you included were only your full name and email. During registration, it was encouraged to add the company’s address and number. If you were a freelancer, or just happened to work remotely (which is the case for VG247 and USGamer, for example) or just thought of including your info, well, I’m truly sorry.

I belong to the first group since I attended E3 on behalf of Digital Trends. Thankfully, I only included my name, and I have no one but my naivety to thank for. Since DT usually creates a unique email for contributors, I used that address to apply. The good news is that my own personal account is safe (at least until I get to publish something controversial and become a target), but my side email wasn’t so lucky. Even with a spam filter, I have been receiving all kinds of eerie, troubling emails during the past few months. Thank you, ESA.

These are the ones that stood out the most.

Sena

This email introduces a woman who has important information about how to identify any reputable financial institution’s true contact. She also told me that her intel will help me to go against dishonest people that diverted money, and immediately signed off the email as “Sena..” without completing the ellipsis, which makes it sound even more serious.

Something push me to seek a good relationship to you so to help you know how to identify any reputable financial institution true contact, no matter the country it located, so I can leak important information and guide you gain information justified fund I hope you were aware how dishonest people attempted to divert money listed in your email as the successor’s contact. Please treat this matter confidential. I’m looking forward for your reply.

Sgt. Marshall H Charles

Charles is located in the Damascus Military base of Syria, and has $3 million on his possession. I don’t know the reasons why he would trust me on this, but he believes (and I quote) that I “will not betray my trust nor thwart my dream”. He mentions God as the primary guide towards this decision as well, and gives plenty of details about his current situation in a lengthy email. Okay, Sargent.

Permit me to tell you this, and please keep this message yourself because its sensitive to my profession as a military Personnel. I want to use this opportunity to tell you about me, my name is Sgt. Marshall H. Charles,48 years and my mother is a German and my father is an Sweden, I Graduated from Army Rangers collage in United States Of America, Currently am on PEACE KEEPING MISSION in SYRIA, i base in the border. I have decided to reveal this secret to you as the only one i can trust, i have dream and prayed over this and ask God to lead me through, i hope am with the right person. I want to inform you that I have in my possession the sum of $3,000,000.00 USD cash,

I want to inform you that I got this huge amount from Syria in the war front… with my troops, The enemies want to move the box of money across the border to buy chemical weapon/ammunition in the next country. But we disarmed them and retrieved there guns and the boxes that contain huge money, which my share was mentioned above.

Due to the United Nation policy (NATO) since the war started in Syria, there was an announcement that some troops will be moving to the forest on 20th of this month, I’m among the troop assign for the mission, i cannot go along with this box of money , because of that I made a special arrangement with a International Committee of Red cross aircraft to move this fund out of here.
The question remains who will be in charge of the money in my absence? This is exactly why I need your help, I guarantee you that you will not stand any risk, as I have mapped out the strategy to have this cash box moved out of here safely through diplomatic courier means, you have to keep everything confidential until you receive the fund.

I have chosen to reveal this to you after my prayer and fasting, i believe that you will not betray my trust nor thwart my dream, though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without fully knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the right person to help me receive the fund for investment purposes.

I will need your guide line for good investment advise in your country as you know am a military personnel and I do not have business idea. I promise you (30%) from the total involved $3,000,000.00 USD
Immediately after the successful transaction i will go on awol and run for my dear life because people are dying here every day and many soldiers have died, I do not want to be the next victim of bomb or gun short by the enemies.

Note: kindly keep this transaction as top secret.

I await your immediate response

Love and care,

Hajji Sayyid Moussa

Another contact from Syria who tells me about a truck filled with over $10 million, and his “Plan B” to replace a South Korean businessman named Seo-yun Kim from the equation. It seems like Kim changed his mind all of the sudden, increasing his cut from 15% to 25%. Moussa now has instructions for me to prevent this from happening.

I am Sayyid Moussa, am businessman from Syria. I searched and got your reputable email from the internet by choice. I have the sum of $10.5 MILLION US DOLLARS in a trunk box coming from England to be delivered to my volunteered South Korean businessman and partner named Seo-yun Kim. Mr. Seo-yun Kim was to receive the trunk box in China where he had diplomatic immunity. Upon his arrival Mr. Seo-yun Kim had changed his mind on percentage from 15% to 25%.

I totally refused his demand because the purpose of the fund in the trunk box is for investment in the receiver’s country as I was willing to give him 15% as a motivation which was fare enough.

Now I have a “Plan B” to replace him and I want you to receive the trunk box as it has now been deposited with a bank in China. I urge that you take this opportunity of a lifetime by receiving the fund in the trunk box so we can invest in your country. And I am ready to give you 20% of the $10.5 MILLION US DOLLARS for motivation and 80% will be used to invest in real estates and other areas of business.

I want you to send me the following information;

1) YOUR NAME

2) YOUR COUNTRY

3) YOUR AGE

NOTE: My communication with you would be strictly by e-mail only to avoid wiretapping of my conversation with you. Please only if you are interested that you should contact me.

Mrs. Evelyn Williams

Williams begun her email with “Dearest in the Lord”, which got me skeptical from the get-go. Before offering me $5 million, she confessed that she’s aware of how many scammers internet has every day, but while this has made people suspicious when it comes to emails, this is a different case.

I know you must be surprise to read my email and apart from being surprised you may be skeptical to reply back to me because of what is going on through the internet world, one has to be very careful because a lot of fraudsters are outside there to scam innocent citizen and this has made it very difficult for people to believe anything that comes through the internet but this is a different case.

With due Respect and Humanity I am willing to send you the sum of Five million five hundred thousand dollars as a volunteer projects to accomplish I and my late husband vow. I, Mrs Evelyn Williams, 63 years old without a child, married to late Engr. Ramsey Williams who was an ambassador before he died of a Cardiac Arteries Operation,

Presently my doctor told me that I may not be able to last for a long period of time due to Cancer of the breast and Kidney including Pneumonia. Kindly reply me back for more details as soon as possible together with your personal details to proceed further for the sending of the fund to you immediately.

Please always remember me in your daily prayers.

God bless us,